Need a laugh?

Teacher Appreciation

This year, both Sam and Benjamin have had outstanding teachers . . . not that there was anything wrong with their previous teachers . . . all teachers need to be applauded . . . but this year was perfect! I couldn't have hand picked better teachers for my boys. We were so blessed that way.

We wanted to make sure that our teachers knew we loved them. So, we decided to make the last seven days of school our own teacher appreciation days. I thought I'd share our ideas, in case anyone is still looking for an end of the year gift. A lot of these ideas I've found on the internet and saved to my "one day I'd like to do this" file. So, I apologize for not having any sources to give credit to.

I need to warn you that these are all very cheesy ideas. (must double underscore very.)

Day 1: A notebook with a homemade flower pen (you know the kind that has the gigantic flower on the top and the pen is wrapped in floral tape.) On the inside the boys wrote down their favorite memory from the year. Now here's where the cheesy part comes in - we attached this note -

Day 2: A bag of soup mix and a can of soda, with these notes -


Day 3: A bracelet made the boys, with this note -

Day 4: A bag of Sweedish fish and an almond joy, with these notes -


Day 5: A milky way bar and box of junior mints, with this note -


Day 6: A few books that the boys picked out for their classrooms. They wrote why they picked the books for their teachers. And of course, a note -

Day 7: No cheesy note . . . sad, but true. I had the boys write words to describe their teachers, using the letters of their teachers' last names. Then we matted and framed them.

It's almost Summer!

Just two and a half weeks until school is over. Two and a half weeks until the craziness that is summer begins. Two and a half weeks until our house is consumed by extraordinarily loud children, happy and laughing or angry and fighting. Two and a half weeks until all four kids are home ALL day long.

I can't wait!

She looks so grown up!
isn't it amazing how a little thing like pig-tails can add 6 months to a girl's life?}

The New Face of Two

Ladies and Gentlemen,

For your viewing pleasure, may I present the beginning of the terrible twos.

A real throw yourself down on the floor, legs kicking, back arching, ear-splitting scream fest. What a feat to be accomplished at only 21 months!

I'm sure this is only a small indication of good things to come.

How fantastic is toddler independence?

In need of Expert Mothers

This is not what toilet training looks like at our house.

At our house, Nicholas refuses to give up his pull-ups. He won't sit on the potty willingly . . . though I do make him sit on it in the hope that something will happen by chance. He won't wear real underpants. If I try to put him in underwear, he screams and walks around the house bow-legged. I've even tried Emma's trick of making him go naked. He just laid on the floor with a look of terror on his face, screaming for his pull-ups. It was the best hour I've had all week.

Sam and Benjamin were so easy to train. They picked out a toy. We hung it on the bathroom wall and told them they could have it when they peed in the potty for one week. One week later, they had their toy and were pull-up free. Nicholas, not so much.

My pediatrician is no help. He just tells me that Nicholas will go in his own time, when he's ready. Well, at $40/box for pull-ups, my wallet is telling me he's ready! I've tried bribery - he doesn't care. I've tried withholding treats - he doesn't care. I've tried begging - he doesn't care. Are you sensing a pattern here?

I need help!

Perhaps I can ship Nicholas to Thailand, where it seems they can toilet train anything.

Sometimes a mullet is a good thing

My hair

+

Josh's Hair

Equals

Score - Rachel: 1; Genetics: 0

Take that genetics!

Dear Cheryl,

Here's the grandkids breakdown. You are welcome to join us at any family function, but I hope you wait until it's one I can be at too! :)


Faith's winning the race by a long shot . . . {although, I don't think anyone's brave enough to compete with her!}

Random Thoughts

1. I made this for a "Getting to know your cousins" book. How fun is photoshop?


2. How could you ever have a bad day if this was the view from your back door? If only I were a million dollars richer . . . See more pictures of this home here

{Photo courtesy of Your Alaska Home}

i AM a mother of boys

I've had it easy as far as boys go. Don't get me wrong, having boys is tough stuff - they are loud, rowdy, and very personal hygienically challenged. But I don't have to play football in the back yard because I don't throw far enough. I don't have to play cars {or superheroes or star wars} because I play like a girl. I don't have to get up early every morning to fix their hair . . . just to name a few. That doesn't even include the fortune I could save on clothing and laundry duty if I would let the boys have their way - they would wear the same shirt, pants, socks, and underwear 365 days a year - without changing. See, easy stuff.

But today, I joined the world of boys. Today was Sam's birthday. He turned nine years old. Nine years of being a mom . . . N.I.N.E. Sam really wanted a party, I really did not. I have nothing against a party at say, Chuck E. Cheese - where the hardest thing I have to do is pay the bill. Unfortunately, 'Ole Chucky is a little young for our mature son. I tried the diversion tactic - promising him we'd talk about the party later. Of course, by later, I meant never. The thought of having a party with extra boys in the house is enough to drive me crazy. But Sam was persistent, and the loving mother hidden deep within me eventually caved.

And before I could stop myself, I uttered the words "What kind of party do you want to have?"

An Alien Party.

Not Alien like the cute Monsters vs. Aliens that just came out, that has all kinds of party supplies everywhere, that has premade cakes at the store. Not the easy kind of Alien.

Area 51 Alien.

You know the line from Cinderella . . ."It seems we have time on our hands. Time for vicious practical jokes." Sam is obviously not busy enough!

So . . . long story short {long story involving going to a million stores, a million times each to hunt down anything alien}, We pulled it off. We covered the windows with black trash bags. We stuck glow in the dark stars on the bags. The living room light bulbs were changed to black lights, and the dining room light bulbs were changed to green lights. We even stuck Area 51 warning signs on the front door.

Party decor - check.

The first thing the party guests did was create their own alien out of modeling clay. They had to stick to strict guidelines so it would bake properly. But they did it. And their aliens were very cleverly done, I might add.

The next thing was to decorate paper plates for a spaceship flying contest in the backyard. The game quickly evolved from who could fly their ship the farthest to who could fly it over the fence to the neighbor's yard so the neighbor's rottweiler could tear the paper plates apart. Fun stuff. {Dear neighbors. I'm sorry your dog became blind from Styrofoam poisoning. You keep us awake at night with your loud music while you exercise in the garage. And your little annoying dog pees on our pomegranate bush. Let's call it even.}

Of course there was pizza and soda - which would have been cleverly named if I thought the boys would care {or notice}.

And then came my favorite part.
Alien dissection.

I created some edible concoctions - and by edible I mean, not meant to be eaten, just not deadly if tasted - and gave the creations alien names. The boys had to stick their hands in the goo {which was covered}, and guess what it was made of. Here's what we had"
Alien Eyeballs - peeled grapes
Alien Guts - Overcooked Ramen noodles
Alien Skin - pieces of fruit rollups smothered in tapioca pudding
Alien Brain - a bath spongee, covered in carmel sauce
Alien Boogers - smashed banana
Alien Feet - banana peels with granola.

We had eight boys. Only five of the boys would stick their hands in the stuff. One of the five boys had an overactive gag reflex and had to stop. One of the three non participators had to step outside because the suggestion of body parts, with the visual of dripping goo was too much for his gag reflex. And one of the five made me gag when he started licking his fingers - and I knew what was in it!

For a parting gift, all the boys got a bag filled with Alien goodness. The best part was a sticky hand that we put a label on saying "Severed Alien Hand." Gross and totally boy.

After it was done, Sam came up and told me that it was his best birthday ever and it was an awesome party. So I did it. i AM a mother of boys.

Happy Birthday Sam! Thanks for making me a mother nine years ago. It's been quite the adventure, but I wouldn't trade a second of it!

Flower Power

Texas has many seasons that I love - spring, fall, winter, occasionally summer . . .but most importantly Bluebonnet. In central Texas Bluebonnet Season is celebrated by everyone with a camera and a few minutes to spare. My children humored me again this year {well, humored me against their will}. It was relatively painless thanks to the Sports Mode on the camera. No tears were shed, no fire ants were biting, no threats were made. All in all, I'd say it was a good year.

Out of the mouths of babes

Tonight at dinner, Sam asked why everyone has brown hair except for Benjamin. That led into a discussion of everyone's eye color. Then we started being silly and talking about other features - who has the biggest eyes? Nicholas. Who has the smallest eyes? Benjamin. Who has the biggest smile? Benjamin. Who has the smallest ears? Sam. Who has the loudest voice? No apparent winner. Who has the biggest brain? Everyone nominated themselves.

We were all laughing and it kept getting sillier and sillier. Then I bent over to pick up Eliana's fork, and Benjamin said, "I know! I know! Who has the biggest booty?"

Game over.

It's always fun with Nicholas

Nicholas is a very unique individual. He's very independent, very opinionated, very animated. You never know what is in store when Nicholas is around. It's always an adventure! Here are some "Nicholas-isms" that have us laughing lately.

1. He has a vacuum fettish. He loves to look at the vacuum ads in the Sunday paper, and carries them around all week long. He talks about what kind of vacuum we are going to buy. He constantly reminds me to vacuum, or asks if I'm going to vacuum. Stopping at Target and looking at the vacuums is his idea of a good time. I wonder what he would do if I took him to the Orek store?

2. He has his own unique phrasology.
Bonk the beep means honk the horn.
Light the way means turn on the car's head lights.
He says "we don't talk like that way" when someone says something naughty.
He says "time for dinner time" every night before dinner.

3. Nicholas believes he is the only one capable of praying in our house. If someone else gets to pray, Nicholas gets mad and refuses to fold his arms. But when Nicholas does pray, it's good times. His prayers start out well enough, but then he starts saying things like "I'm glad my bear was soft at naptime." or "I played in the sandbox and it was fun, but then I had to go inside and I got mad and said I'm not coming in and ran away from mom." His prayers become actual conversations . . . maybe he has the right idea?

4. Nicholas refuses to eat real food. Sam has always been a picky eater, but at least there are somethings he'll eat. For Nicholas, breakfast would be cookies, luch would be freezee pops, and dinner would be cookies. He seems to have the idea that if he shares the cookies he's pilfered, it's ok to eat them. {And once you give Eliana an Oreo, there's no getting it back - so Nicholas has a genius plan!}

5. Every morning before Josh leaves for work, Nicholas says, "Remember to eat some gum today Dad." But that's our Nicholas - often perplexing, always amusing.

Bragging Rights

There was a contest. But first there was {or rather is} a test. It's called the T.A.K.S. test. And you need to pass it in order to advance to the next grade. Starting in third grade. This is our first year having to deal with the Test. I am now convinced that they do nothing in third grade except prepare for the Test. The homework is practice tests, the school work is practice tests, recesses are skipped to take practice tests. It is a big deal. {Although, on a side note, I don't think it should be such a big deal since it seems that all learning except for T.A.K.S. learning is on hold.}

So - There was a contest. This contest was to design a picture for the T.A.K.S. test. The winning drawing would be made into a shirt for the children to wear on Test day. The art teacher picked one drawing from each of the five third grade classes. Then the students got to vote on which drawing they liked the best. Sam was one of the five drawings. Much to his devastation, he was not the winning drawing. The winning design said "Rip the T.A.K.S." and showed a test booklet being ripped in half. {I think the kids probably voted for that one because they were so sick of all the T.A.K.S.ing that they wanted to rip up the test!}

I know I am speaking from a mother's perspective, the artist's mother's perspective, but I think Sam's drawing is great. It's creative. It's fun. And it's aggressive enough without the gory details {which I'm sure would have been included if it weren't a school project.}

Good luck on the test Sam. I hope you slay the T.A.K.S.!

Life Lessons from a toddler

Here are some lessons Ellie taught me this week:

1) Rubbing Alcohol will remove lipstick from clothes.
2) Hairspray will remove more lipstick from clothes.
3) Dawn Dishsoap will remove LOTS of lipstick from clothes.
4) Make-up remover does not remove large amounts of lipstick from cheeks, arms and necks.
5) 18 month old babies do not listen well when told not to touch mommy's lipstick.

6) Parents who buy their children clear lip gloss are geniuses.
7) Girls and boys are different -- boys get into things. Girls get into expensive, sure to stain your new clothes kind of things.

Thank you, Eliana.

Oh wretched Texas weather

When you've got Alaskan in your blood, not even nasty Texas cold can get you down.