Things I need to learn to love

(WARNING: long post ahead!)

I was thinking today, as I pondered three whole summer months at home with three wild boys, that I should focus on the positive. To ensure my sanity, I started to make a list of all the things I love about my boys, thinking that if I could keep the good in mind, I could make it through the summer. Making a list of things I liked was easy. For example:

I love that Sam is so creative. You can give him a piece of paper and a string, and he can create a whole universe out of it.

I love that Benjamin is so self motivated. He taught himself to read because he wanted to be like Sam.

I love that Nicholas is so happy. All you have to do is say “Nicholas!” and he will smile and laugh and brighten your day.

Then I started thinking about the things I wish I could change about the boys. But, it occurred to me that trying to change them would not be easy. So I wondered if I could change the way I viewed the aspects of their personalities I found annoying. And that is how I came up with this list . . .

What I need to learn to love about Sam
1. His sense of humor. Sam loves to have fun! Although Sam can be silly at inappropriate times, I need to be grateful that he loves to laugh and he loves to look for fun. I need to appreciate the fact that he likes to make people laugh. He has a temper to match his sense of humor, so I should be doubly grateful when he chooses to look on the bright side of life!

2. His stubbornness. It is true that once Sam has set his mind to something, it is next to impossible to sway him another way. But at the same time, I need to be grateful that Sam knows what he wants and that he has a determination to get it. You have to admire the fact that a 7 year old will not back down when he has made up his mind (at least in some instances!)



What I need to learn to love about Benjamin
1. His Tenderness. Benjamin is so tender. The minute he has done something wrong, he immediately feels bad. Sometimes, in my impatience, I tell him to suck it up and quit crying like a girl (I guess he got the tenderness I lack . . .), but I need to appreciate the fact that he has such a caring heart. He would never dream of causing anyone pain on purpose. What a wonderful gift!

2. His sense of Justice. Lately, Benjamin has been asking, “what about me.” I told Sam that if he read 7 chapter books, I would take him out for dessert. Sam hates to read and needs encouragement. Benjamin, on the other hand, loves to read and needs no external motivation. But as soon as he heard my deal with Sam, he said, “What about me?” It has started to get annoying. However, I need to be grateful that Benjamin demands equality, not just for himself, but for everyone else. If I buy him a hot wheels car at Walmart, he makes sure I buy cars for Sam and Nicholas. He doesn’t like the feeling of being left out, and he doesn’t like to leave anyone out.


What I need to learn to love about Nicholas
1. He CLIMBS! Nicholas can climb up anything -- and he frequently does. It makes me crazy and I feel like I have to follow him around everywhere. However, on the bright side, I need to appreciate his sense of adventure. He loves the thrill. Along with that, he has the ability to keep up with Sam and Benjamin who are considerably older.

2. He doesn’t give up. This goes along with the climbing. He climbed on the chairs to stand on the dining table. So we keep the chairs on the table. His response? Push something over to the table to get up. He is so persistent when he has a goal in mind and there is no distracting him. And while I am afraid for his life sometimes, I have to admire that he doesn’t give up. Even at 18 months, he has set a goal for himself and he doesn’t forget it, and he doesn’t stop until he has achieved that goal. So far that has led him to the top of the bunk beds, the top of the kitchen counter and the top of the chairs that are on top of the dining table, among other things!

This is by no means the end of the list, but it is a start . . . and it has been eye opening.
I have a lot to learn from my boys!